My Way of Living [Search results for Life] 

There are posts that sing in your heart, some loudly, some softly,… no demands, they just ask to be set free, to be published. Some come unbidden, easy to write, easy to read. Joyful words describing beautiful seasons, and the beauty of nature. We all like to read those, life is hard enough without reading tales of woe in a blog.

And then there are others, a need, demand, not as pleasant to read, but so desperately wanting to be set free so I can move forward. I’ve found that by recording a moment, a memory I no longer allow it to keep my nights, my days, and my life hostage.
They are rarely shared.
This one escaped, it feels so intensely personal, I didn’t want it to, but it did.
You might remember my Dad went into the hospital because of ill health, during his stay there he fell and broke his hip, which extended his stay by months… and we thought that was hard. It was only the beginning of a very long, difficult and heartbreaking journey that is not finished yet. One that we as family can only offer as much support and love as possible.
It’s hard for him, and for us, it takes my heart, my love, and my time to be there with my parents. I am trying to help them out in any way I can.
Dementia is a nasty disease, a wicked awful mind stealing disease that sneaks up behind you and wallops you with a club, lets you stagger off to partially recover, and then does it all over again.
Not nice words at all, but Dementia doesn’t deserve them. It has stolen too many of my family members… and now it’s hitting my Dad.
Life maybe just life, but this… this is beyond fair. I’m angry, I’m upset, I’m worried, and most of all I am sad.
This isn’t a post about sadness, and fear so much as the effort it takes to be there, smile, and encourage during a very difficult situation, we have all been there, or will deal with troubles in some way. I know that, and my heart goes out to all of you as you struggle with difficulties also.
In the end we should know that we have done all we can to help, no matter what the struggles against us were.
This is a post that didn’t come out quietly, it kicked, screamed, shouted, and it continues to do so. It won’t be quieted by frequent power outages, computer glitches, or my unwillingness to publish it.
It wants to be heard, noticed, felt. It want’s you to realize that Dementia is a epidemic, and as much as you think it won’t happen to you, it could happen to any of us or those we love.
I wish there was a happy ending, I tried to give it the best I could, the journey continues. And I will completely understand if you are end up not knowing what to say… that’s OK.
This is not a poem, it’s not a rant, it’s a rendition of a heartbreaking day, one that is etched too closely on my heart.
But in those painfully carved words, there is hope, and there is love.

Life, it’s just life . Fragile shell enveloping egg dropped onto hard floor, slimy splatters, cat prints lead away from the scene of the crime.
It’s not his fault.
Juice tipped onto morning paper, soaked, soggy orange scented old news.
That’s life
Power out… heat wave, stifling hot.
No sleep, hot days, foggy brains.
That’s life.
Moving day, worry, concern, positive thoughts, cheerful, fake happy.
Check for the words now tattooed on your heart.
“It’s the disease, not the person.”
You are a rock.
You are a island.
Simon and Garfunkel knew what they were talking about.
That’s life.
Free hour left on parking ticket handed through the rolled down window of a slow passing car.
Goodness of strangers.
That’s life.
Thank goodness for life.

Last time walking through cloud of smokers, hacking over IV stands.
Familiar face tugs at my memory, daughter of one left behind, revealed as neighbour from my now far away ocean.
My old home, my old life.
Keep in touch, good luck, I wish we had met again sooner.
But we can’t wait to leave.
We hope never to come back.
That’s life
Thank goodness for life.
Moment of calm, breath deep, but for the smells of old, air, memories, hopes, and dreams, escaping through art deco gold painted grating on elevator wall.
Smiles, good wishes fond on your heart, breaking tears into smaller drops.
Heat, never ending hot, shiny sun.
Pack the car, don’t forget anything, him, nervous… upset, hold back the tears.
That’s life.
His words accusing us of betrayal, no thanks for all he has done for us through the years, overriding our words of comfort, preparation, photos shown and forgotten, change overwhelming, he does not care.
Be the rock, be the island for all of you.
Clean, quiet, beautiful surroundings does not replace chaos, disregard, and dirty linens in his mind.
Kindness and attentiveness of the nurses, friendliness of the residents ignored.
That’s life.
It’s the disease, not the person.
But oh it aches, it hurts.
Where are you Dad?
That’s life.
Go back to where you swore you would never return, forgotten items, disbelief on his face as you leave without him, take me back there…
Promises made I will be back, I don’t want to go, but I will be back.
Drop off at downtown pharmacy, street person asks money for popsicle… decision, change for meter, or popsicle donation.
Ticket versus treat.
Wish it wasn’t asked, wish I had both.

That’s life
Hot, sweaty tires black on pavement, roads closed, worry, lost, found, rushing.
Situation same.
Keep up the hope.
Homemade Ginger snaps, cold juice.
They know what happens here, how much of it is life.
Sugar high.
Situation low.
Immaculate garden gazed upon through his window, holds a flower.
Despite his refusal to mellow, to bend, to look.
Shines above all else, single stemmed brilliant petals perfectly displayed.
It tells me yes this will get better, it will get easier.
It’s determination despite the heat to show how beautiful life is, tells me I am not the only rock.
There are other islands.
This is life
Thanks goodness for life.
Tears from your Mother.
Smile from a stranger.
A hug.
That’s life?
Is that life?
Thank goodness for life, as painful as it is right now.

If you would like more information about Alzheimer’s/Dementia this is a link to the Canadian site.

I’ve been slogging through my old blog posts for the last little while.
Correcting, eliminating, labeling, sorting things out.
Yes, some of those posts are gone, they don’t all deserve to stay.
Some I am treasuring… I can almost see where I stretched, and grew.
It hurt at times, it made me cry at others… laugh, smile, and know that it was worth the effort.
It’s somewhat slow going, but it’s enlightening at times.
The wistful “when will these Muddy Boot dreams come true” posts, wanting so badly to be up here in the Okanagan living our new life, not realizing during my deepest doubts how close it was to happening.
The newbie posts where I was lost, and lonely at times, when there was a good reason to celebrate a extra comment, and another reader, bringing me up to the whopping total of 10 readers.
The times I was so excited and sure that I knew where I was heading kind of posts, only to change directions like a flag buffeted in the wind.
We grow, and change the more we blog, that’s good.
The ones where I found my voice, misplaced it, only to find it again.
This time I am keeping it close to me. It’s mine, it’s me.

The growth of my love for photography, when I finally discovered the manual settings on my camera, and how to use them. The fact that there was more to shoot then the flowers in the backyard.
If I could visit that newbie blogger once again, and impart something that I have learned in these years of blogging, I know what I would say.
To write a blog, and do it well.
To be engaging, interesting, and thoughtful.
To be full of energy, and surprises, to keep your reader’s attention.
To keep them wanting more, y ou must give more, think more, experience more.
You must open your heart more, plan more, decide more, share more.
And sometimes it’s just not a possibility.
To write, to think, to do.
To be positive, and charming, and thoughtful seems to drain even the best of us at times, it’s life. Just move forward through it, it shall pass.

Life is so full of experiences, things to be done, requirements of our time, stuff we must do, there will always be something to blog about.
Into each blogging life a little rain will fall, things will break, disappear, fall through… and you will lose interest, just as much as you are thrilled to discover something or someone new.
Learn from your mistakes.
Blogging is like a puddle of water, that dries up, only to overflow with emotions, thoughts, ideas, and images that we can’t get down fast enough at another time. Sometimes filling in the blanks, sometimes the blanks are left there for a reason.
Because life is always happening in the background.
And when life happens, we will blog about it.
And when it doesn’t happen, we blog about that too.
The one thing you must do when you blog, is not to take it too seriously.
Life goes forward, things happen, people come and go in your blogging life, keep moving forward.
Live life and blog, love life and love blogging.
Use spell check!
Make friends, form relationships, yes, these people are real.
Write nothing that you wouldn’t want your Mom to read.
Always leave nice comments, even when someone leaves a mean one for you.
You have friends out there in the blogging world, and you will find that out when you need them.
Don’t let the urge to check your stats or your followers dictate what and how you see blogging.
Treat your readers like gold, for they are the reason your blog exists.

Comparison is the death of all creativity, we each have set out on a journey to a different destination, sometimes those roads converge, sometimes they take off in opposite directions. It’s your journey, no one else's, take the path that works for you.
There will be shooting stars, those who come, some will stay, and some will go just as fast. There will those who slowly and steadily climb, and those who just plod along in the same space for as long as you know them, that’s all OK, it’s their journey.
Blogging is so personal, the journey is so specific that no one else’s will ever be like yours. It’s yours alone, you have fans they are cheering on the sidelines, they are your readers. Can you hear it, that’s the sound of someone leaving you a comment.
And just when you think that you have it all figured out, the rules might change… your direction, your theme, your thought process might shift, and you will see the world from a different perspective, and that’s fine too.
Because there are as many or more readers as there are blogs, and they will find you and stick with you.
Blog on newbie blogger, blog on. Please add any advice you would have given to your newbie blogging self in your comments, we all need to read those encouraging words no matter where we are in our journey.
And I hate to disappoint anyone, but these are old images of spring bulbs, we are a long, long way from seeing anything green around here.
Jane

There are times when it seems that I can sit down and write something easily, the words take on a life of their own, simply flowing onto the screen.
There are times when each word is typed without knowing what will come next, the germination like a slow seed, that somehow grows into a blog post.

Then there are the times when it seems nothing creative will sprout, grow, change.
Coming forward to present it’s self without some sort of encouragement.
When things are rough, creativity seems to be the first thing lost.
It’s the last to be fed at the table, the first to be thrown over when there is no time, no energy, and no thoughts.
That’s a real shame isn’t it?
Creativity needs to be nurtured, lived, thought about, expressed, dreamed of, loved, and admired.
It’s so very important to thrive, be happy, and to be creative.
Much of my creativity is expressed through the images that I take with my camera. It’s dwelling in the photos, not mindlessly, but with intention and purpose.
For myself, there’s a Zen moment when the shutter clicks, when I capture as closely as possible what I’m seeing in real life, and record it on the camera card.
There can be surprises, images that look different on the computer screen then they did in real life, and I always consider those to be life lessons in themselves.
It’s as if the camera is teaching me to look beyond what I think I see, showing instead backgrounds, shadows, light lingering on leaves, shimmers where I thought there were none.
To look harder, think deeper, to learn not to mentally delete what is there, but to acknowledge it.
And to live my life that way also.

Sometimes just as picking up the camera is important, so is living in the moment.
Living life bare, open, experiencing hurt, joy, pain, love, full on.
Letting life make the memories, not the camera.
The trick is knowing when to let life do it for you, and when to pick up the camera. muddybootdreams [at] gmail.com

It’s your blog, own it.

Might be contradictory advice coming from someone who is very selective about letting people she’s met know that she has a blog. When I first started Muddy Boot Dreams I told people at work.and later I regretted letting the cat out of the bag so to speak. I read stories about bloggers being found out, and fired, and was a little concerned that my very uptight corporate employer might be reading my blog, my personal thoughts, my description of how my life ran, and it made me tuck my personality inside for awhile.

I only wrote about gardening, after all they couldn’t complain about that. But while it felt great during the spring, and summer months, my roots were restricted by the feeling that there was more ground to cover. So I started to write about what moved me, how I saw life, and what it made me feel. And as I loosened up the “rules” I grew. And I liked it. In fact I love it.

In the early days, I was finding my voice, learning that there was life after hitting that first time scary publish button. Those early posts are almost embarrassing in the naiveté of the writing, but we all have to start somewhere. It’s life, it’s blogging, it’s kind of scary the first time you really put yourself out there, checking the stats, wondering if anyone is reading your posts. But we get so much out of blogging, that it’s worth it.

Own your blog, it’s what you do, maybe it’s not all that you do, you work, you have a life, you have interests, and blogging is one of them. Be proud of it.

I decided to make some postcards, and business cards, from Vistaprint to feature my blog, I love how they turn out… In fact I have plans for making more, some will reflect the other parts of my life, these show my blog, my style. While I am still selective about who in my personal life gets to know I have a blog, it’s nice to have a more polished way of giving out the information then just a scrap of paper with my blog name written on it. Click here to find out some other ways to incorporate business cards made by Vistaprint into your life.

It’s probably going to happen in every bloggers life.
A time when you commit a blogging mistake, maybe break a unspoken rule.
A blogging no-no, you might have realized it, or maybe you didn’t.
Let’s just start by saying that maybe you didn’t post for a while.
Or you posted so sporadically that everyone forgot you were actually a blogger, and it lasted for longer than many of your readers were willing to wait, and they wandered off to other blogs, and stopped checking to see if you were there anymore.
And now you would like them to come back, but you don’t know how to go about it.

Or maybe you stopped engaging, and commenting on their blogs, you didn’t answer questions, and you didn’t reply to queries, even from your best blogging friends.
You literally dropped off the face of the blogging world.
There are things that you can do to fix it, all is not lost.
And most likely your blogging friends will understand.
They are a pretty cool bunch, and they know that life does sometimes get in the way no matter how much we might want to blog.
They will also tell you that blogging is supposed to be fun, not stressful.
You might try sending them cupcakes, and ask them to drop by for tea and a bit of blog post reading.
Or you could start by visiting their blogs again, let them know that you have reappeared, and would love to see them once again.
It happens, bloggers come, and go, change formats, ideas, themes, they will understand.
I’m sure that the village it takes to write a blog knows you well enough to withstand the latest storm.
Your dedication towards having visited, commented, and engaged with everyone in a real and authentic way throughout your blogging history will bring them back.
All the while building long term lasting friendships from those who read your blog.
Because every once in a while you’re going to break a blogging rule, spoken, or unspoken.
It’s life, and life is like that.
And when you do, you are going to need those blogging friendships even more.
So make sure you have built your village well, spent time crafting great content if you enjoy writing, taking good quality images, or choosing ones that you have permission to use.
Build those villages, and when life makes it harder to blog, let your blogging friends know I’m sure that they will understand.
And if you have any suggestions to help ease the pain of breaking a blogging rule be sure to leave them in your comments. So my blogging friends, here’s the deal.
I’ve read your blog, you’ve read mine.
We’ve exchanged comments, visited each other’s online world. We’ve been building our friendships and getting to know each other for a little while now, you know who I am, and I know who you all are and how thankful I am that I’ve got to connect with you.
But lately things in my life have been taking over making it harder to write a post, and even more difficult to visit your blogs and return comments.
I’ve tried cutting back on my posting, I’m down to twice a week, and I still can’t keep up with visiting all of you, I need to post, I need to blog, and it’s such a part of my life.
I know not returning comments is a huge blogging mistake.
And that was one rule that I have always tried to make sure I didn’t break.

I’m sorry, but right now I just can’t do it all, and I feel so badly about this.
As a blogger who writes about how it takes a village to write a blog, it isn’t easy to have to say that.
Because I can’t make it to everyone’s blog to visit right now.
I’ve tried.
And I am asking you to understand, and to keep visiting, to stay as a member of my village while I weather this storm, it’s not permanent.
I’ll be posting, and trying to keep up with visiting as much as I can.
Because it takes a village to write a blog, and without you, there is no point to blogging.
Jane

We all blog for different reasons, some for fame, some for money, some just because if we don’t get those words out they will overflow and douse the flame that is our creativity. But let me introduce you to my wicked twin Comparison, I really don’t want her in my life. I don’t like her. She likes to compare my blog to those of the big bloggers, the ones with readership in quadruple digits + and I don’t want to do that.

My evil twin Comparison

and I need to break up.

That’s it Comparison, we are through, I need to be true to my heart.

She’s always showing me other bloggers that have become amazingly successful, pointing out webinars, and online tutorials on how to grow your blog in just 30 days. She is always talking about SEO’s, market shares, and niche marketing, while that may be interesting, I just can’t go there right now. Then she has the nerve to point out the success of Bloggers that have turned a rotten pallet into a 2 story summer cottage, thrown a party the same day for the entire neighbourhood, using gourmet food that they bartered for during their last pilgrimage to photography New York City’s private gardens.

Part of me wants to be that blogger, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon, sure I can turn out a hand painted sign or two, oh about every 3 months. I still haven’t painted that pink bathroom, and we will have a periwinkle living room until I get inspired enough to paint it. Comparison my evil twin, is always showing me bloggers who start up a new blog, and suddenly are overwhelmed with so many comments that they have to write a post on why they can’t reply to their comments. I may have fewer comments, but I can respond to them in person, in the process I get to know my readers, and what they like to see, and read. Let Comparison agonize over my stats, she can have them.

I write about what I love, from deep in my heart, the quirky things that occur in my life, and occasionally I have a good tip to pass along. Of course those big girl bloggers influence me, who wouldn’t be awed by what they are achieving, but this is me, my blog, and my life, and that’s it for now. I photograph things that mean something to me, and in the process my readers, and my blog have made me a much better photographer. I appreciate each and every comment that my readers make. My wicked twin Comparison might not like that as much as having a huge amount of comments, but I like it. Sure I may incorporate a idea or two, everyone likes to improve their blog, but I am going to be writing, and photographing what I love. Write from the heart, be real, write about what you love. From the heart……

Some of you asked if there was something going on the other day when I posted about gone fishing, nope nothing exciting at all, no reason, just… well read on and find out for yourself.
Ever have one of those really good days?
When the sun shines, and you think about writing a really happy blog post.
But you decide to go out for a drive first to enjoy the rare winter sunshine.
Because after all, life is about living in the moment isn’t it?
And then just as you raise your cell phone to take a quick photo of a old barn as your husband drives down the highway a little too quickly to really capture anything, but you have to try, your phone rings.
And you get to go out for lunch, unexpectedly, and isn’t life just generally good?
And then after you get home, the sun is shining, and wow, did you see how the sunshine highlights the dusty floor, you had better vacuum, and then you should really sit down and write that blog post. But first you grab the camera and take a few shots.
Then it’s almost time to make dinner, but as you sit with a cup of tea, and realize you kind of forgot to write a blog post, you think, I’ve had a really great day and I’m just going to sit and relax for just another minute… or two. Life is about living in the moment isn’t it?
And then I will write a blog post, I really will.
And the next thing you know is it’s much later, and you still haven’t written that blog post.
And dinner isn’t made.
There is a great show on TV after dinner, you think you will write that blog post after you watch the show. Sure you can.
The next thing you know, you’ve almost spilled the cup of tea all over yourself, because, well, you kind of had a little nap. It was a eventful day, and life is all about living in the moment isn’t it?
And now you should really write that blog post. After all, you more or less promised to post it didn’t you. And yes, your feet are sore from the long walk that you took today, and it was so cold outside that you were sleepy when you sat on the couch, but now it’s time to write that blog post.
But life is all about living in the moment… so you sit for just another moment.
Oh dear… you fell asleep again.
Now it’s late, and you still need to write that blog post. The cat is snoring besides you, the husband has gone to bed.

And you have a great idea for the post. What was it again?
Right, you can’t remember… could you claim to have nothing to write about, and write about that, but hey, didn’t you do that last week?
Well, maybe they forgot, but they will understand, after all you had to go out for lunch, the sun was shining, it’s almost expected to live in the moment. And you certainly had to vacuum, no one will hold that against you. That’s important, and so was making dinner, and all that. Blame it on the weather.
Now what were you going to write about?
Stop nodding off, stay awake, live every moment, life is about living in the moment. n ot nodding off in the dark.
Now you really should write that blog post.
Wishing all a very Happy Valentines Day!

I have this feeling.
Stronger then a theory, a determination, an absolute realization that to me at least, this is true. Life gives us a reset button to keep inside our hearts, at the oddest times. Not always when things are calm, and peaceful… sometimes it gives it to you when you least expect it.

When you don’t know that you need it, and even when you are not looking for it. It’s a system restore point, just like your computer makes before it starts downloading a update. A safe spot, a chance to breath, to catch your breath, and a time to go back to if things are not right. A moment when everything stops, and instead of hitting fast forward, something in you hits record. You’re creating a moment, a memory, a point in your life. A time where although it’s not perfect, it’s wonderful. And you might find yourself going back to that point many times when you are stressed, or upset. It’s there for a reason, it’s your “happy” place, it’s a moment of peace in your life, it’s a life line, a rock, a island.
It’s a small space of time, however brief that allows you to mentally reset, and move forward stronger.
Refreshed, and ready to face whatever life throws at you. Pay attention to those moments, they are not going to stand up and cheer at you, waving arms, and yelling hoorays, they might be more subtle then you think. Keep your eyes open, your heart free, and if you watch out something might dart from the corner of your eye, or you might feel a flutter in your heart. It might be while you relax and take a deep breath. It might be during a creative spell, listening to music, or hearing the voice of a good friend when you pick up the phone. A feeling, knowledge that life doesn’t have to be perfect, in order to be wonderful.

That’s your system restore moment. And when you need a place to retreat to, a moment to reflect, your mind will go there.

That photo of the blue bucket up there… it’s one of my system restore moments. It was early in the morning, I was stiff, unbending, but I had to capture that light streaming through the blue, even if it meant going all the way back upstairs, grabbing the camera, changing the lens, and digging out a fresh memory card, and forcing myself to bend sideways in my housecoat, hoping the neighbour wasn’t yet up, [he wasn’t].
It was needed, and I am glad that I did it. In the middle of a dark and cold winter this shot is going to warm my heart. The sun sparkling, the knowledge that it was only going to be there for a few minutes, and then gone again for a year, it’s a moment, and it was mine.
Not every system restore moment is a camera shot.
In our journey with my Dad, there has been so much heartbreak, sadness, despair at times. It hurts, and it will continue to hurt, I know that. But it’s awful to see him slip away from us, forgetting names, things, losing so many words. It’s part of the dementia disease to go through this… and it hurts.
Sometimes you will not know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.
We are hanging onto what ever we can with him, moments, conversations, feelings, hoarding them, keeping them close to our hearts.
But still he continues to slip further away.
One tactile memory I am keeping in my heart is also a system restore moment for me, I find myself going back and remembering the sensation… my Dad steady enough with his walker that I can carefully link my arm through his… walking along besides him, my hand laying on his forearm, no longer the strongest forearm I had ever seen… the skin now transparent, thinner, fragile, but still my Dad.

A system restore point can be anything, cold ice cream on a hot day… giggling as you lick up the melting sweetness. A summer snapshot of the golden sun retiring for the day slipping through the tall grass, golden caresses on the weeds.
The way the light creates shadows on a wall, over a leaf, sun streaming through petals.
The purr of a cat, the wet nuzzle of a dog.
The chubby curve of a toddlers cheek.
Frogs croaking outside your wide open window, fresh late summer air streaming in.
The twirl of a skirt against your legs.
Water color paints in a box, a fresh page in a journal and you having so many ideas to contribute to it.
A dew covered flower bud ready to burst.
Blink, memorize it, feel it fully embed in your memory.
It’s a moment and it’s yours.
It’s a system restore point.
Have you felt those moments that become memories while they happen, or do you realize later that’s what they are? Does your brain go through your memories at night, sorting, distributing, pondering…
Share.

We all get those moments, when it seems we don’t even have a chance to catch our breath.

Our lives are not supposed

to be like a pie chart, each

moment divided up into

brightly colored sections.

Family, life, blogging, work, watering, housecleaning, cooking, creating. Family, and life, are the ones that I wished got the biggest segment, and mostly they do, but work and watering, oh the watering, it tries to get more, it’s greedy, thirsty, demanding. Keeping things watered has become a massive job, and we are trying to work something out to make it a little easier.

Keeping cool, has become a huge job too, the it’s certainly hot here, all day and all night long. Don’t laugh at my pie chart cookie, it’s all the time I had for photography, and this blog post is late already, and now the cookie is gone, it tasted delish though.

I would like creating new recipes for ice cream cones to be given a larger segment of my pie chart, cuddling with the Boo, and taking more photos of my flowers, and just general creating, oh and watching those magenta sunsets every night with my love. I guess a little bit should go to riding the bike, exercise should consist of more then pulling the hose around.

So what are the small sections that you wish you had more time for on your life pie chart? Or do you manage to give everything in your life just a sliver, some two slivers? Are there sections of your pie chart life that don’t get a section but should? Munching…

The nice thing about blogging is that I can tell as much, or as little about my life as I wish. If someone asks me a personal question or is a little too curious, I can ignore it, or craft a answer that is appropriate, and doesn’t make me feel all squirmy. I don’t feel like I had to tell them more of my personal life then I wanted to.

Not so in real life. It’s hard being the “new people,” this is a lovely neighbourhood, and we are following the old adage of “get to know your neighbours.” It’s a good thing to have neighbours look out for your house when you are not home, and you can do the same for them also. But that’s where I want it to end.

I have always made it a habit to say hi to my new neighbours when they moved into the condo beside us. That was as far as it went, I never asked questions, and as curious as I might be sometimes, I left it up to them to set the boundaries of what they wanted to tell me. We would ideally like to be on speaking terms with our neighbours, maybe a little chat over the fence about the weather, but that’s as far as we wish to go. Maybe tell where we are from, what we did, that kind of thing. It’s how people place other people, it’s life. But we draw the line at inviting them in, and showing them our house. It’s our sanctuary, it’s private, I don’t care how curious they might be.

Curiosity is a tough one, we all have it, it’s pretty normal. We met the neighbours behind us, and they already knew we were from the coast, rumours are flying over fences, and through the bushes just like the little birds. We are on everyday talking terms with the elderly neighbours beside us, they are pleasant, friendly, and we share hello’s and how’s the weather, how is the grass doing, hey the snows finally gone, everyday kind of things. I met the neighbours on the other side, with the brand new baby, and the big black dog, [who is lovely, and no longer poops on my yard, I’m embarrassed to have written about it now] and they are very nice also.

It’s just… how do I deal with questions that I don’t want to answer? What do you do when a neighbour asks a perfectly normal question that you don’t have the answer to? It’s not rude, so I can’t pull out my standard reply of “why do you want to know that?” LOL. Believe me it works… curiosity does sometimes get more then the cat. There is a certain amount of information we all exchange every time we meet someone, it’s normal, and everyone has different levels of privacy, I think mine are on high alert right now. I feel uncomfortable telling too much, and I would like to keep some parts of me private.

So what do I do when I am asked about work, kids, life, and what we plan to do with our life? How do you answer that? I could really use some answers. If you feel like sharing…

Creativity is like the surf washing over your feet on the beach. It’s either coming in, or going out.
Is it up to you which way the creative surf goes.
What inspires you?
Calm, reflection, space, peace? Tranquility?

Or chaos, choice, and stimulation?
How do other creative people find time to come up with ideas, plans, and projects, and still fit life in between.
My camera is sitting there, forlorn, forgotten, creativity is the first thing to go when I am busy with family, and life.
This is hands down the best time in the entire year to take photos.
The light is golden, soft, pearly, the skies are bright, and I just can’t get myself out there to take a shot.
The camera glares angrily at me with it’s Cyclops eye… but it’s too hot, to heavy, to sweaty out there.
As much as I love summer, I’m tired. Who sleeps in this kind of weather, I get up at 5 am, because I can’t sleep.
All day long there are things to be done, gardens to water, life to live, any excuse right?
Creativity comes in so many forms, versions, ways, it’s the doodle on a envelope while waiting on the phone.
It’s inspiration, seeing old things in a new light. Doing something new, and different, doing the same thing but looking at it from a different angle.
Allowing yourself to daydream, to visually create in your mind something beautiful, written, painted, photographed. It’s not something we can force, but have to allow it to bloom, it takes time.
Use prompts, there are so many wonderful lists, for writing, blogging, and for photography… I should take my own advice right? I will one day… soon, just as it cools down, and I can venture out without turning into a puddle of mush.
Create a list of your own to inspire you. Choose a word, a phrase, a topic, brainstorm.
Try Instagram, a photo a day, a meme, a linkup.

Allow the ideas to wash over your brain, just like the surf of the ocean. Write them down for later if you don’t have time, or the inclination to do them right now.
I found this interesting article, 8 tips for productive blogging, written by Angie, of Real Life at Home.
Oh my goodness, #3… yes Angie you are so right, it’s more like a hour, more on that coming one day,
Visualize, envision yourself creating…
Keep it in your mind, allow it time to bloom
Do something that inspires you each day.
Life hack has 30 tips to rejuvenate your creativity… I challenge you to try a few, I challenge me.
Do you pick up a different type of camera… I’ve been using my cell phone, I like shooting with a different perspective.

Do you doodle, do you daydream?
Make a commitment to a journal, write in it everyday… even if it’s only a few lines… practice makes you create something at the very least.
Stay away from social media, dive into social media?
Taking shots just to force yourself to pick up the camera?
Getting up earlier, staying up later.
Daydreaming.
Brainstorming.
Working with a group, working alone, working with a partner. I love those thousands of miles apart photos… one day maybe I will hook up with someone and create one of those.
It’s to easy to go with the flow, to sit back and wait for it to come to you. Get out there, demand it, insist on creativity, work for it, sweat… and not just from the heat.
Create!

Winter has returned to the dark hole it hibernates in to avoid the other seasons, the snow is nearly gone.

It feels as if it was never here. Invigorated by the warm breeze, we, and I use the term we loosely, had just finished raking the entire yard. And surveyed the cleaned up brown patches flecked with emerging green with a sense of accomplishment. One item ticked off of the spring cleanup list. A hour later the wind rose up in a fury.

Gust swayed the tall Fir trees, cracking branches with a terrible bangs, blowing dust, gusting from every direction. The tidy landscape changed to a full on scattering of enormously long branches impaling the soft ground as they fell from 40 feet up. Too dangerous to stay outside we retreated inside. And watched with dismay as all of our hard work was undone.
We were out there too soon, and have to cleanup once again. We could view it as a chore, something that had to be done, reversed in a matter of hours. But in that sweet moment we were living life, the warmth of sunshine on our pale seasonal skin, air fresh in our lungs as we called out to neighbors walking by. The breeze mingling in the strands of our hair, jackets thrown to the ground, green blades of grass revealed with each raking, that moment can't be taken away from us. Laura at Simple Serene Living wrote a encouraging post about bookmarking life, living the moment as it comes. It made my heart sing, and it was a good reminder, despite our best intentions, we sometimes rush through life, missing moments when they come by. Being outside in the spring sun, that was a"bookmarked" moment that made the work worth while, despite the outcome. Do you find yourself rushing, ticking off items on your to do list, or do you tend to live each moment as it comes? I think it's truly hard to keep living in the moment, but oh, when you do…it's sublime.

PS:
My move to Word Press, and a new URL, is on the back burner for the next little while. That's OK, because thanks to Brenda at Cosy Little House, I just figured out how to resize my images properly, so I will have some time to practice. Like the spring storm, life can have a way of throwing things at you. You have to be able to move with it, stay flexible, and move forward, so that's what I'm doing here. The new URL will go live, just not this week, or maybe not the next week either. I'll make sure to let you know what to expect when we are once again, closer to that date. For now I am encouraging you to live those fleeting moments, things change rapidly in life. More PS's: Have you checked out our The Over 40 Blogging World facebook group? If you are over 40, it's a wonderful place to hang out with fellow bloggers who are supportive, and passionate about blogging. And…one last thing. My World Wednesday isn't on for this week, look for my next post on Friday, see you then.

Letting go and letting the words find a spot on the page isn’t something that I can easily turn on and off. To really be able to express myself I have to live in the moment, feel it deeply in my heart and have this great need to share. It’s a fragile bubble, easily burst by distractions, noise, worry, anything can break that translucent film. How do you Blog from the heart ♥ It’s easiest when I have a sense of something almost nagging at me to be let out, to be heard.

When I am doing a mundane task, like driving, [I’m joking] folding laundry, vacuuming, cleaning that kind of everyday thing. And as I work the post more or less writes itself. The words form themselves and fly out, if there is nowhere for them to land they float off into the air. Lost… it’s important to get them down in some form right away.

Some are lost blog posts that I write in the early morning hours… the ones that sound to me so concise, and interesting, and then they are gone. All because I didn’t get up and write them down. But at 4 am who wants to get out of bed.

Some are inspired by a moment, sitting on the deck, fresh breeze blowing, birds chirping, a discovery of a new flower blooming. I can almost touch the emotion it feels so real, and it’s so easy to write. It’s as if I am capturing a memory, and retelling it.

Those are my heartfelt blogging moments, but I am interested in how you come up with your posts? Do you have a idea of what you want to write before you sit down at the computer? Or do you just sit, and it flows out, creativity set free. Writing…

Do you ever find yourself focusing on the little not so good things that happen in your day, and suddenly realize that you forgot the enormous amount of good things that are in your entire life?

A long time ago I read a sentence in a book that has stuck with me forever… in it a woman describes one of her life’s joys as a window over the kitchen sink. I’ve yearned for that window over my kitchen sink since then, and now, finally I have it.

Sometimes life gets so beyond us that we don’t remember what we have, just what we are missing. Everyday life is made of a crooked road littered with puddles, and a sky with these lovely sunsets. I guess it’s my choice to look up in awe at the sunset, or just keep plodding along looking for my reflection in the puddles.

So here I am reminding myself that stuff happens, life goes forward, and the sun will still set every night, and if I try hard enough I can see it going down through my window over the kitchen sink. Thinking…

The last two weeks have quickly passed by
Priceless snippets of life resulting in more than a runner's high
Gingerbread rendered stale because of the heavy load
Allow me to compensate with this very simple ode

Time flies by so fast...
It all started with a distance left untouched
Oftentimes before it did not matter much
As healthy curiosity led to the act of giving one's all
A 5k PR was set at Octoberun Festival

Another year beckons to summertimes lost
In the book of life another page tossed
Birthdays are as constant as rising gas prices
But it's still nice to savor all of life's little surprises

The quest for higher learning entails choosing the road less traveled
Sleepless nights and lost weekends rendering you zombie-mode frazzled
So close to quitting, to just breaking down and bending
Entrusting it to a higher power will get you that happy ending.

Altruistic acts reign supreme in this time and place
What with calamities invading our lives and private space
Giving back to your community without an eyelash of hesitation
I was happy to have peeled bananas at the Milo Aid Station.

C'est la vie is what the elders always say
We laugh, we cry, we live to fight another day
To survive life's intricate trappings surely takes all of one's cunning
I'm just happy to share with you my life outside of running.

Have you ever written a blog post, spent a lot of time dreaming, drafting, rewriting, and then deserted them?
Because for some reason they just don’t fit, they don’t seem as profound as when you had them in your head? Or maybe the need was only for them to be written, expressed, the thoughts squeezed out like toothpaste in a tube. No longer needed once they made it to the computer screen/toothbrush.

A short existence, but a good one right?
The things we ponder when we spend too much time in our heads right?
I like to think when I walk.
I need to think, to ponder sometimes, I don’t know about you, but it’s a good thing to let my thoughts form shapes.
Let them fly like a flock of birds out and away.
I’m not worrying about them escaping, bursting out of my head.
Like the wild ducks on the pond do when I stop for the merest second to take a photo.
They would have taken off either way.that’s life, and it’s too short to overthink it.
Life is too short for worrying needlessly, puttering endlessly, it’s too short to not wear out your favourite socks, wear your favourite underwear, and to eat off of the good plates.
Grab the company only cups, and pour some tea, the good stuff, that loose tea you bought one day on a whim, the one you never drink because you need to use a strainer, you save it for special occasions. Today is a special occasion. You woke up, you are here, and you are alive. While we are at it, you know that chocolate that you have been hoarding, tucked away in the drawer?
It’s gone, oh just kidding, go find it, and take a big nibble… it’s good to splurge once in a while.
And buy yourself that something that makes your heart sing. Go ahead, you don’t need permission from anyone to just do it.

Smile.
A lot.
At everyone.
Especially the grumpy people, it drives them batty.
I’m eating the “company only” cookies right now while I write this post.
Yes the only for company cookies.
What a rebel I am.
[Smiling here.]
They would go bad if I didn’t eat them anyways right? Can’t waste good cookies.
Life is too short. It really is.
Now about that underwear.
I know, you’re shaking your head, wondering where on earth the underwear reference came from… well weren’t you listening, use the good underwear, and wear out the good socks, it was up there somewhere.
I’ll wait while you go back and look for it, I even bolded it.
So back to the underwear, they come in a 6 pack from the big brand, big box store, and I like them, they are handy, all the same tones, some patterned, [I know, who writes about underwear on a blog, but bear with me, it’s not going to get any racier then this folks, and it’s still completely in the, could my Mom read this post and not give me the “Jennniiifer” scolding] but there is always one pair that just sends snarky jitters down my heart.
You might know what I mean… the color is off, the pattern isn’t quite as pleasing to the eye, [giggle, snort, maybe I’m not as comfortable as I thought I was about this, but there is a point to all this, trust me] if the word underwear makes you uncomfortable I could replace it with socks.

So, socks/underwear… go ahead think socks instead of underwear when you read underwear, now isn’t that better? Underwear… just kidding, oh smile why don’t you, I’m feeling rebellious.
See, I even made it a bold word… what a racy, rebel I am, must be the only for company cookies, and the good tea, or maybe life is too short.
So now I have probably embarrassed you, or bored you to death… hey are you over there in the sock/underwear aisle of the big box in your mind? Can you come over here for a second please and take a look at this package of underwear/socks?
Yes, they are all nice colors right? Just nod your head yes, they are pretty… well most of them are… but there is always that one pair… see what I mean, now that I pointed it out to you, it’s not that nice is it?
Would you wear that?
Right, I agree, now why on earth would they make a pair of underwear/socks that look like that? Oh, you like them, um… sorry about that.
See what I mean about posts that you spend time dreaming, drafting, writing, and they should just fly right out of your head?
Just nod and say yes. Bonus points for those who can tell me how many times I used the word underwear without blushing here, just kidding… But, extra bonus points for those that read the entire post and can still spot the photographer in one of the shots.

As I attempt to write this, one glance at the clock reveals I have exactly 25 minutes to somehow pull this off before lunch break ends. Aaaah... . trappings of the harassed yet decidedly sanguine corporate warrior. 24 Minutes. Yikes.

Why hello old friends. Did my five fans miss me? Running four months without a single article, I find it hard to fathom I could go on that long without any output. Alas, that's the reality I dwell in nowadays. No articles, no presscons, no fluff pieces, no nothing. My last official piece of written work was the cover story I did on Ani De Leon for Frontrunner, and even that I only saw about a month after it came out on stores. Contrary to popular belief, I have not retired nor have I been holed up in some cave. What happened was... .. I got a new job. Goodbye academe (at least for the meantime) and hello corporate life. Anyway, the long and short of it is that I'm suddenly encumbered with an exponentially more challenging gig coupled with the fact that my workplace is now on the other side of the map. The flexibility that living 5 minutes away from your office has brought for the last couple of years is now a distant memory.

It's a new way of life, yes. Somehow lost in the muck was the fact that I'm still actually training for an Ironman. Or rather, the Ironman 70.3 to be held at Camsur this August 14th to be more accurate. Oh my. Training? Ano yun? From being in the best shape of my life several months ago, I am merely fighting to finish at these races. I can only cringe at not being able to pull my weight for my Quest 825 Tri Team, more so with so many synergistic partnerships on board for us. Robbed of all forms of mileage, each step towards that finish line is more akin to a test of the human spirit rather than a competitive test of fitness. Sigh. How much I envy this dude.

Nevertheless, you guys know I'm as game as anyone out there so I'll still give it my best shot. I've hacked out my last two races on shameless guts alone, because to be very honest with you, I don't have much of anything left. Foolhardy perhaps, but somehow I always have this crazy notion that I could pull it off. And while the results haven't been pretty, I'm still hanging in there. A sub-3 hour target finish at the Olympic-distance Subic International Triathlon turned into a 3:08 debacle with an unexpected implosion during the run portion. Lack of training? Check.

Hanggang porma na lang. Next in line was the Tri United Matabungkay triathlon, a 2k-60k-15k humdinger that serves as the warmup race for Camsur. A lingering back injury (I'll explain later) rendered my bike leg into pretty much a leisurely spin, and once again cramps did me in over the final 5k of the run portion. BDM 160 champ/Quest Tri buddy Wilnar even barbequed me with a kilometer to go despite gaining more than 30 minutes on him from the swim. Yeah, that bad. Lack of training? Um, check. I was even compelled to do pushups at the line, a consequence from a friendly bet the team had for the bottom three finishers. Wilnar owes me a drink. Not that I'm complaining though - in spite of all the crap that went down I still somehow managed to hit the elusive qualifying time for the Timex 226 triathlon in Bohol by the skin of my teeth. Timex 226 is the first full Ironman distance (3.8k-180k-42k) race in the country over the past nine years so its a big honor just to make it there. And with thirty-four seconds to spare, it could have gone either way. Whew.

Which brings me back to Camsur. It's supposed to be the far reaching goal, the big shebang. And suddenly I'm on the hook for an even greater challenge this December. In a season where I also finished my first 160k race, this seemingly perverse proclivity towards pain and suffering is starting to ignite deep, burning questions within myself. Like, "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?" But hey, it's a fun life and we only live once right? Might as well go through it with a bang.

With roughly a 70% reduction in training hours and mileage, this one goes out to all the corporate warriors out there - how the hell could you reconcile a microscopic training window while training for a long distance triathlon without your wife kicking you out of the house? Here are some rudimentary tips I have cobbled together. I'm not saying they would necessarily work for you, but I think what I'm trying to say here is you pretty much don't have a choice. Smirk.

Don't let it happen.
The Art of The Three-Hour ,Er, Sleep

With so little time on your hands your first priority should always be to fulfill all family duties and work you bring home, keeping the missus (or mister) plus the kids happy. Where does that leave your training regimen? If you're a zero work flexibility dude like me, it's usually the first to get wiped out. The solution? Learn how to sleep on three hours so you can still wake up at 4 am in the morning to do your 60k-15k brick at MOA.
Now, if you end up falling asleep at your board meeting, load up on two bottles of Cobra beforehand. Drink it. Straight. Bottoms up. Everything. Better to be a doped up zombie than a sleeping fool.

It never hurts.

Lunch Out... . To Run With every minute ever so precious, try to sneak in some much-needed heat training mileage for the Camsur "Energy Lab" by eschewing lunch altogether. Screw food, gels are cooler. While everyone is engrossed in water cooler chatter and tsismis step out of those Van Heusen' s (or high heels) and discreetly step into those K-Ona's. Wear a visor low to render you unrecognizable to a potentially lunch-outing boss. Once done, rush to the office john and splash on as much water as you could on your face, then come out whistling "ang init, sarap maghilamos no?"

Pasimple lang. Maximize your weekend. Understatement of the year. If you work half-day Saturdays like me, that leaves you with roughly a six-hour Saturday window and a half-day Sunday window (if you actually go to church. Or have a family. Or a semblance of a life. If not, kindly ignore. In the most anti-scientific manner possible, cram all three sports plus a gym workout into that window. It works great. promise. You can finish your race if you don't mind extreme discomfort, pain, suffering, agony or the specter of some random injury popping up. During the weeks leading up to Tri United and during the race itself, my back had as much pliability as my octogenarian grandpa. As i said, I don't necessarily endorse this. It sucks, it really does. But to theeveryday working dude/dudette out there, do we really have a choice? See you at the line in Camsur people, I sure as heck hope that there are no more pushups waiting for me there. And if I may add, it feels mighty damn good to be blogging again. :)

I was going through my twitter feed this morning, and found this quote tweeted by, Quotes about Life. And I assume that they got it from another source, but it’s perfect for this morning. Happiness does not depend on outward circumstances, but on the state of the heart. JC. Ryle. It’s easy to be happy today, it’s Sunday, the sun is out, and it’s late spring, and it might even be a touch warmer. Life is good. Oh and there are huge water drops on my Hosta, that’s rare, I know, small things right? And… ta da! My followers are back on my blog. So yes life is good! Thanks for your lovely comments, and yes Lori, although you didn’t use the phrase, “I did put my big girl panties on, and get on with it.” Life that is.

The world is a beautiful place, almost always.
But at times it can also be a disruptive swirling mess.
And I find that sometimes to write a honest, truthful.
Blog post.

That uplifts, engages, and inspires.
Without venting.
Or complaining.
To share parts of my life, the happy parts.
The good parts.
In a thousand words.
Or.
Less.
The honest, truly real parts.
Without the bad, the overly sad.
Or the awful added in for that wow effect.
Sometimes for me.
It turns out to be one of the hardest things I can strive to achieve at times.
To keep my voice real, authentic, natural.
To come to the computer after a dazzlingly difficult day, and flush it all away.
Bend those fingers over the keyboard, focus the eyes on the screen.
And look inward, to my center, to find something good to write about.
Something good that you, who take the time to visit this blog.
Can take away.

Mull over, think about.
Enjoy looking at.
And feel good after reading.
Because I think we all need that.
It can be a challenge at times.
But life is all about challenges isn’t it?
And you, who read what I write.
Who look at what I photograph.
Who know me through this blog.
And beyond.
You who leave comments that make me think, dream, and warm my heart.
Well you, are so worth it.
Truly.
So I want to know?
What about you?
How do you manage to come to the blogging table each time, thinking good thoughts, and being positive.
How do you find your center?
Despite life, and it’s huge array of challenges that we all go through each day.
I need to tell you.
That sometimes for me…
To come here, and write, think, share words, and photos, to connect with all of you.
Who have been here long, and those new.
To not bring to the table the problems that life throws at all of us.
To stand straight, to be cheerful, and pleasant, and smile.
It’s not always easy.

And that’s not what this post is about.
I have found that when I take a moment, look inside.
To find my own personal center.
Things change.
They slow down, they stand back and let me breathe.
And.
That’s important to me.
Because this blog is supposed to be fun.
And I want to keep it that way.
I want to grow, to stay fresh.
I can see it in my work, my photos, my words.
When I get to that center.
Bulls eye.
When I can say what I mean, and it shows in my work.
How about you?
What do you do, to find your center, in a swirling world.

It’s definitely winter around here.
And I thought I had made my peace with it.
Really, truly, thought it was fine.
And then the January blues came by like a heard of wild buffalo dusting up a storm.
I know that into every life a little winter blues might fall.
I suppose it’s bound to happen, the euphoria of the Christmas season had ended.
Valentines Day isn’t quite close enough to get excited about.
Most of us are deep in the icy grip of the chilly winter zone.

But it was the trip to the BIG CITY the other day that triggered this one.
And suddenly it hit me.
Spring probably isn’t just around the corner here.
Our trip to the BIG CITY is a bit more then a hour’s drive… and it’s a whole new world out there. It’s not just bigger stores, and more people.
It’s going from our place where the snow is measured in number of feet, and the icicles hang so low on the vehicles that they break off on the speed bumps, to a clearly barren grey, snowless land is a bit of a shock.
You mean, the frozen north, isn’t frozen all over? It’s not all gently rolling drifts, and piles of dirty snow soon to be covered once again with marshmallow fluff?
Where were the icy puddles, dirty windshields, and frosty mitt covered hands?
Are those, could those be, sidewalks, we only see those in the summer.
And this is only a hour away?
We’re not in Kansas anymore Bootsie.

Apparently they live like this most of the winter… it’s like being on the coast all over again, just a tiny bit colder. Now I can see why it’s such a BIG CITY, everyone wants to live there.
Except for us of course.
I had no idea… and most of the time we live in a snow and ice covered world, white fields, and frosted mountains, it’s life, this is the snowy Okanagan after all.

Life is full of surprises isn’t it?
I mean, we knew that the al most big city, which is around 20 minutes away gets less snow then we do…
Our little town below gets less snow then we do up here on the mountainside… that’s life, we don’t mind, it goes away.oh around March. And when it gets too much we go to the almost big city where there is so little they probably don’t have snow removal people working full time. But that the BIG CITY has no snow, we just couldn’t get over it.
Hmmm, so maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder… open spaces, white fields, lots of snow, birds and deer in the back yard, when I’m in the BIG CITY, I miss that.
I’ll take mine with snow please.