Dear Piolo,
Hi there. Much akin to your hordes of fans, obviously you don't know me. But before we begin, let me just say that I'm a big fan of your work. I have been following your career since you appeared in The Vizconde Massacre in 1993, pretty authentic performance in my opinion. Still think Dekada 70' is your best work though, period pieces work for you well. Might I add, Milan was a tad bit over the top, good thing you were there to carry the movie.
You Da Man Papa P.
Anyway, I am just writing this letter to congratulate you on your recent 47 minute performance at the just-concluded Timex Run. Coach Rio did a spectacular job in training you within a limited timeframe, and your splits were outstanding. In a few months, you have succeeded in achieving what most of us mere mortals took years to train for. Most of us are at it day in and day out, running ourselves ragged. Suffice to say, you have exceed all of our efforts without so much of a sweat, your perfectly coiffed hair and excellent jawline all in one piece.
Piolo with Vima, of that awesome blog Kulit on the Run
I'll be honest, when I first got hold of the news, I thought it was a joke. Most of us were expecting you to at least breach the sub-60 mark. I mean, you seem to be in pretty good shape, that's pretty realisitic. In your perfect artista world, we assumed that you wouldn't have the time of day to actually put some semblance of effort into it. Let's face it, you're official endorser of the run, but very rarely do celebrities like yourself put in the effort and dedication needed to break 50 minutes. That's rarefied air that true-blue runners claim as their own, like some sort of weird club, and you just pulled off the greatest gatecrash in recent history. Hence, we have all borne witness to the end of the sub-60... . and the dawn of the Sub-Piolow.
A lot of people would remember exactly what they were doing when Ondoy happened. Or the 1990 earthquake. Now, most of my friends remember exactly what they were doing when they heard the news of your 47 min finish. I was driving. Walking the dog. In a meeting. Doing the laundry. As for me, I was eating a sandwich from Country Style and was about to sip on my coffee when I heard the news. It's that big.
You have turned the mainstream running community inside out, and not a few "proud" runners are looking at themselves in the mirror questioning how you could have beat their "purist" times. Admittedly, I am one of them. Yes, me. Your #1 fan. I have been having sleepless nights just thinking about it. This was supposed to be my world, my domain. And you have enroached upon it in one perfect, chiseled stride. Everytime I train, I see you in front of me. And I eat your dust. It haunts me... . incessantly.
It's like I have lost my manhood, my running mojo. The guy who has everything... .. fame, money, women, cars - just added another feather on his cap. At my expense. Thus, I have deduced that I will not eat, I will not sleep, and I will not rest... unti l beat your time.
I heard that you're planning to join the Ironman 70.3 next year. I am highly encouraging you to do so. Go! Please do. We will support you 110%. Please finish it below 5 hours, so that a new set of hearts will be broken.
Thanks for hearing me out, and I hope you never run a 10k again.
Much Love,
GBM
p.s. Can I ask for one of those "I'm Running With Piolo" T-SHirts? Pretty please? My, um, sister wants one. Thaanks!