As the Gingerbreadman vainly tried to fight off overly emotional baristas and egotistical, surly flight attendants, his tribulations soon got lost as he entered the airspace of the world's largest city, a southern paradise beckoning to him like a sub-zero Coke on a sweltering summer afternooon.
So before it came to this... ..
He had to pass through this... ...
Davao Cab from Airport. GBM. I can't believe I'm finally here. Haven't been here in a year. It's been too long. Last time it was work work work. Now I want to have fun fun fun. Cab driver is conversing with me in the vernacular. Only my proficiency in Cebuano is equivalent to that of a 3rd grader. Okay he's frowning now I think I just said something offensive. Why do I even try? I'm here early, stupid Cebu Pacific had no flights nearer to my boat ride. Wow they still have non-airconditioned taxis here. How... arcane :) Wha.. What's that Mr. Cabbie? Dapit na dong? What's a dapit? What's a dong? Are you cursing me? !@$%%
I find t hese Manila people to be extremely strange With nothing to do until 1:30, GBM was prevailed upon to check out the local sights to burn time. Quickly googling "fun davao spots" unfurled the premiere shopping place in Davao... . Aldevinco Center, GBM Wow, what will I do with sarongs and earrings? And tribal headgear? Next! This is not my place... . Further queries brought about Crocodile Farm, a sortie which did not quite pick his fancy because he had already visited the previous year. In addition, an inherent disdain for 1,000 lb crocodiles ensured that no return trips would be commencing in the near future. Running out of options, a familiar jaunt emerged as a safe haven amidst this unfamiliar land. SM Davao, GBM Wow! I'm in civilization! The SM here looks so... . so... .. the same! So many Mang Inasals! KFC! Kenny! Just like... .. Manila. Hmm... . Nothing spectacular here. Well at least it ain't hot here, it's sweltering outside. Hey they have bottomless greaseless chicken! Did you hear that? Who would have known there was such a thing! I AM IN HEAVEN (@,@) It's the greatest thing ever! I am not making this up. Yum. I heart Davao. *burp*
Best Deal in Town
YUM YUM YUM Davao Marina, 1:30 pm. As the hour neared, his belly filled with greaseless chicken amidst the respite of a cool summer breeze, our protagonist reached the designated pick up point where he would be taking a boat ride to his late summer getaway. A simple wharf was expected, but instead this was the sight that met him... .
Great, they have their own mini-resort as a holding area. Amazing. Very impressive. Okay so now the boat is here. Not a yacht, but the speedboat aint bad at all. So now the journey to paradise begins... .
UA&P, GBM's desk. Present- Day Hi there my dear reader/friend.This is Luis right here. Yes, Gingerbreadman. GBM. Whatever. And yes, I'm talking to you. Breaking the 4th wall again. Thanks for the support in following the story up to this point. I know your time is precious and valuable, that's why I make it as entertaining as possible for you. As you're immersed in our narrative, you do know that here in The Gingerbread Report we try to do things differently. We try to share experiences in unconventional ways. So what usually happens at this point is I would relate how wonderful my vacation was, or how awesome the beach was blah blah. Yeah. That's the norm. But hey, just in the spirit of differentiation that we oftentimes espouse, I'll just stop there. I won't bother telling you about our living arrangements... .
Or their fancy floating bar...
I will not regale you with stories of how close the beach was to my place...
Nor will I bore you with canned anecdotes about how awesome the scenery was... .
I will not even attempt to tell you about that cool electric cart we used...
Or share something irrelevant, like how I am a new infinity pool convert... .
I will not even BEGIN to say how much it rocked to just bum around.
And above all... .. How much it rocked to run on the beach...
I won't even go into any of these things, for the simple reason that... .. It would've been infinitely more special if you were there to share the experience with me. :)