My Way of Living + Visual

The dark side of validation
Otter lake barn

All I can think about is that my feet are sore.
And well, my back is kind of sore too.
My Mom can out shop me any day.
Easily, with one hand tied behind her back.
What’s that got to do with the dark side of validation?
Everything.
Let me explain by saying that standing around while my Mom, and Sister try on clothes in a high end Ladies Fashion boutique isn’t my idea of fun, but they like it. And I like spending time with them, so I did it.
And now I am wiped, but I so wanted to write about the dark side of validation, I wanted to mention some of the amazing comments you bloggers have left me. I want to continue the conversation, it’s intensely interesting to me, and I think you like it too. I love that everyone has a slightly different way to approach the subject, but most of us agree that in small doses, it’s great.
But my thoughts are churning, should she have taken the teal mohair lacy sweater, or the ecru? Were those dress pants the right ones with that jacket, but I can’t concentrate.

Otter Lake shed

I need to focus.and I haven’t checked my social media stats enough today, how many people have dropped by my Facebook page, what’s my followers count on Pinterest, have I pushed past yesterdays goals. There are phone calls, and emails to be returned, but first I need to check my stats. There’s a twitter feed to be scheduled for early tomorrow morning, but my best friend will understand if I don’t call her back tonight.maybe I can ask another friend to take a rain check on lunch tomorrow, because I need to update. Oh I hope enough people read that post, and “liked” it.
Screeching halt: None of the above paragraph is true!

Otter Lake old barn

But that’s what I mean by the dark side of validation, letting the need for validation by others be the reward. The constantly search for a pat on the back, a “great job, great photo” instead of blogging to build friendships, and enjoyment.
It’s dark in there when that’s the only reasons for pursuing social media, and blogging. Sure we all get hung up on watching our stats increase once in a while, but that’s not the dark side. And it’s great when our popularity seems to take a jump, a little validation goes a long way to motivating us to do a great job, too much might be controlling how we share. There is so much more to life then just social media, and blogging, it’s up to each individual to make sure to draw that line for themselves.

Otter Lake misty water

Have you ever found yourself tempted to write more, share more because that’s what seems to get the comments.
How open, and honest do you need, or want to be? At what point do you say, that’s too much information? What do you consider to be private, and what’s out there for public consumption. Have you ever shared more then you wanted to, was it intentional, did you regret it?
Let’s talk, and if you get a moment to read those comments from In praise of validation, there are some pretty interesting ones.
Now I need to go and soak my poor sore feet.

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The dark side of validation + Visual