Dear Mother Nature,
We are writing to let you know that we have come to the conclusion that you are better off without us [we are breaking up with you!] No let’s not call it being dumped [that’s what you did to us last night, look at all the snow].
Really, this was a hard decision and we have put a lot of thought into it before deciding to make this difficult move. We know that once you get over us, [and yourself, what were you thinking?] life will be better for both of us.
No, we are not dumping you, we are exploring our options, and giving you a chance to discover new people [those who will put up with your tantrums].
Maybe it was your running around, [read all the rain] and your unpredictable moods, [snow in the middle of November, and you are wondering why we dumped you?]
It’s barely after Halloween, and we all know that around this part of the world we don’t get snow until January, and then only a small scattering of the white stuff.
We just feel that the situation has changed, we’ve grown, we are no longer the same person that loved you before. And you, well let’s just say the La Nina mannerisms that you are parading around make you a bit of a diva.
And we really need simple things in our life now.
Like sunny, warm weather.
What? Who’s being sarcastic? This is a benign breakup, and we hear there’s a really hot climate just over the border.
We wish you only the best, we will always hold a spot in our heart for you, and think of you fondly.
Love, White Rock