My favourite humourist will always be Erma Bombeck, witty, kind, funny, and on the mark as she wrote about family ties, and relationships. Her bestselling books made me laugh out loud as much as I was exclaiming how true, at the same time.
She once wrote about her Mother’s actions while driving, throwing out her arm to save young Erma from crashing through the windshield when suddenly forced to brake. In later years when Erma became the driver due to her Mother’s aging, it meant that Erma was the one who threw out her arm to protect her Mother. It was a bittersweet transition for her.
It’s also one of the hardest to bear… as our parents age, we must change our roles from child to parent no matter how they feel about it.
Protecting our parents from things that they once protected us. It’s not a burden, but a very fine line. We waver, we fall, we stumble, we get up, brush ourselves off and try again, maybe the next time with a softer touch.
We are nearing the “you should start to think about giving up the car keys” talk with my parents. Presented the wrong way it can backfire, we are not alone, many of my friends are going through the same thing with their parents.
At what point do children step in and take over, and what do they do if the parent doesn’t agree?
No bangs, bumps, scrapes, just overly busy traffic, and impatient drivers. Paradoxically, it’s not parents driving I worry about, it’s the other drivers.
Much as they worried about me as a teenaged driver, I worry that mine might become the overly cautious vehicle that slows traffic down. T he one that takes too long at the light to restart, the one that merges too carefully, using the entire length of the on ramp to do so.
I’ve heard horror stories involving stubborn parents who refused, and stories where parents knew it was time, and gracefully gave up the keys. It’s not a fight, it’s a decision, but when do they make it?
And if they won’t, do we do it for them? Have you, will you?
Are you?
And most of all, what happens when it’s your decision to make as you age?